Yes, Barnegat, There Are "Full-Time" Township Committeemen

In a report on Patch about last week's township committee meeting the following item was included: 

"During public session, resident and independent candidate for Township Committee Howard Effron addressed the issue of committee members' health benefits. Breeden explained that the township originally planned to keep elected officials on their previous healthcare plans when other Barnegat employees switched over to the state plan, but that regulations ultimately dictated they join the state plan, too. When Effron pointed out that the state benefits plan requires enrollees to work at least 35 hours a week to qualify, the committee members assured him their elected positions are full-time jobs."  

35 hours a week? Sounds like a bargain for taxpayers with all that hard work our township committee members are putting in with nothing to show for except medical and pension benefits. I have to admit I was incredulous when I first saw the report. My curiosity got the better of me so I decided to put on a disguise and chose one day to follow around one of our esteemed committee members (I shall call him "Committeeman Leech") on his appointed missions and rounds for the benefit of our town's residents and taxpayers. Here is my report: 

10:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m.: Arrived at township building. Went to bathroom and flushed a toilet to make sure it was working properly. Washed hands in sink to make sure there was plenty of water. Turned light switch on and off to check it. Walked to rec center and did the same thing. Noticed a strange odor and advised custodian. Checked out the parking lot to see if any cars were parked illegally so they could get tickets and raise revenue for the township. 

11:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m.: Went to the new softball field and met with concerned citizens about what needs to be done to maintain and even improve the facility. Played a "test game" to make sure the field was in good shape and there were no hazards that might cause an injury. Discussed possibility of raiding the open space fund to build a concession stand and bathrooms for the convenience of residents who use the field since so many of them have bladder issues. 

12:00 p.m. to 1:00 p.m.: Stopped at the new Sweet Jennys and spoke to the owner about his concerns for downtown redevelopment and how that might bring more business to his restaurant. While there inspected the kitchen and tested the food to make sure it met standards for cleanliness, freshness and quality. Also checked out the bathroom to make sure it met health code standards. 

1:00 p.m. to 2:00 p.m.: Went next door to the cigar store and hung out there for a while to make sure they weren't selling tobacco to minors. Also checked the parking areas for illegal cars that could be ticketed and raise revenue for the township. 

2:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m.: Went to back of liquor store at A&P shopping center to check for drug deals. Chased some kids for riding their skateboards. 

10:00 p.m. to 2:00 p.m.: At Doyle's Pour House to investigate complaints of rowdy patrons and loud noise. Sat at bar and spoke to patrons to make sure there wasn't too much alcohol on their breath. Went to the bathroom several times to make sure it wasn't overcrowded. Also went outside a few times to see if anyone was parked illegally so cops could be called to give out tickets and raise revenue for the township. 

I think it's obvious from my report that our "Town Fathers" do work full-time, and then some, to make sure we are all safe and secure in our homes and community. The revenue they bring in by reporting parking violations is more than enough to compensate for the cost of their pensions and benefits. We are fortunate in Barnegat to have the finest township committee money can buy.