The Unnamed Bicycle Column

The Unnamed Bicycle Column: Why Do You Look LIke That?

The devolution of bicycle clothing is unnecessary, and a little silly

You’ve seen him. Everywhere there are bicyclists, you've seen him. He’s wearing head-to-toe spandex, whether he’s got the physique for it or not. His skin-tight shirt, if you can call it that, is of a color best suited to direct traffic away from road construction. And it’s covered in logos from tiny French or Italian companies no one has ever heard of. If you see him off his $4,000 carbon fiber bicycle, he walks like a duck, because his bicycle-specific shoes are so stiff they don’t flex when he steps. And he’s likely wearing sunglasses normally reserved for bobsled drivers. My apologies if he is you. But really, you look a little silly. * * * * * When we were kids, we rode bikes. All the time. No one ever heard of spandex. No one had …

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